Pay the Price in Scars
by Trekkie101
Summary: What makes a family? Where do you draw the line between selfish and selfless? Regina's past as the Queen has followed her into her present, and it is starting to affect her future. OutlawQueen with sprinkles of CaptainSwan, Snowing, Rumbelle, and RedCricket.
1. Overheard

**Pay the Price in Scars**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time or its characters; Regina Mills belongs to Kitsis/Horowitz and Lana Parilla and Robin Hood belongs to Kitsis/Horowitz and Sean Maguire. The plot for this story is my own. Please leave feedback!**

**Synopsis: What makes a family? Where do you draw the line between selfish and selfless? Regina's past as the Queen has followed her into her present, and it is starting to affect her future. OutlawQueen with sprinkles of CaptainSwan, Snowing, Rumbelle, and RedCricket.**

With the dishes done and Roland's bath finished, it was finally Regina's favorite part of every evening: bedtime. The chance to tuck in her boys, or boy if Henry was with Emma for the week, brought Regina a sense of peace and fulfillment she had experienced few times in her life. Wiping her hands on a dish towel, Regina tucked a curl behind her ear and headed up the stairs into Henry's room.

The teen was on his computer, hair damp from a shower and dressed in clean pajamas. His bed was made as neatly as Regina could ever hope for him to get it, and his bookbag looked packed enough for their early morning the next day. She slid her arms around his shoulders in a hug from behind, resting her chin on the top of his head. Henry finished typing—it looked like a conversation with Paige—and turned in his chair so Regina could give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Did Robin already stop in?" Henry hugged his mom briefly.

"Yep." He reached into his backpack and pulled out a neon orange folder. "Can you sign this before I forget? We have to get permission for Mrs. Nyberg to get a class guinea pig." Regina leaned on the dresser next to Henry's desk and signed the form.

"You have everything you need?" Regina combed her fingers through his unruly hair and swiped a thumb over his cheek when he looked up from his folder.

"Yeah, I'm good." Another kiss, this time to his forehead.

"Okay. I love you." Henry was already turning back to his computer.

"Love you, too, Mom." Regina paused before closing his door.

"Don't stay up _too_ late, okay?" Henry grinned at her.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Regina rolled her eyes. He really was becoming too much like Robin for his own good.

Roland's room was just down the hall, and Regina could already hear the even tones of her boyfriend's voice drifting through the cracked open door. The newly-turned five year old still wanted a story at bedtime, but he also wanted to impress his "big brother," so now he insisted on his door being closed during story time. If Henry asked about bedtime, Roland had told Regina, she was to tell Henry that his brother was asking grown-up boy questions about how to use the "celly-phone."

Tiptoeing down the hall, Regina heard Roland's little voice: "Daddy, am _I_ going to get a little brother?" Her steps faltered and she felt her heart sink.

"What do you mean?" Robin's voice was as calm as it ever was, always willing to answer his son's questions no matter how odd or mundane.

"You said that we're a family now, since Henry got to have me as a little brother. Gina's my mama now, and Henry is my brother, and I want a little brother, too." Regina couldn't move, either to enter the bedroom or turn away.

"We _are_ a family, now, Roland. I love Regina and Henry; Regina loves me and you."

"So am I going to get a little brother? Or even a little sister? A sister wouldn't be _so_ bad." Robin chuckled at his son's disinterest in the entire prospect of girls. Four years with the Merry Men can certainly make a little boy care less than most.

"I'm sure Regina and I could work on that for you, little man." Regina's heart plummeted further, and she cursed the tears that burned at the backs of her eyes. Turning swiftly on her heel, she headed blindly for the safety of her room.

Behind her, in Roland's room, Robin wondered where his girlfriend was. She never missed a bedtime if she could help it, but Roland's eyes were drooping closed. "You know, we'll still be a family even if it is just Henry, Regina, me, and you, right Roland?" The little boy nodded and snuggled further under the covers with his stuffed monkey.

"Because we love each other." Robin smiled and pressed a kiss to his son's forehead.

"That we do, my boy." Turning out the light, Robin left the room in search of his lover. The kitchen and living room were empty, so Robin turned out all of the lights and checked that the front door was locked up tightly. Ascending the stairs once more, he bypassed both boys' rooms and quietly entered the master bedroom, toeing off his wool socks and tossing them in the general direction of the clothes hamper. His favorite thing about living indoors were carpets, and he liked the one in Regina's—in _their_—bedroom the best because it was thick and plush beneath his feet.

His least favorite thing about living indoors were doors, especially doors with locks on them, such as the door into their master bathroom.

"Regina?" Robin called softly after trying the handle and finding it locked. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." For a moment, he thought her voice sounded strained. The toilet flushed and he heard the sound of the sink running for a few moments, then the door opened. "I'm sorry, my love. Something at dinner disagreed with me." Her voice sounded even and strong, and Robin could detect no hint of distress, so he smiled gently and pulled her in for a kiss with two hands on her hips. She responded hotly, slipping her tongue past his lips and sliding both hands up into his hair.

"You missed bedtime, m'lady," Robin commented as his lips left hers to travel down the column of her neck. Regina shivered.

"Let me go look in on Roland, then," she giggled, pushing him away by the shoulders. He made a sound of protest as she left his arms, so she let her hips sway enticingly on the way across the room. "I expect you naked when I return, thief."

Robin grinned, and sped through his evening routine. By the time Regina had pressed a kiss to Roland's curls, tucked his blankets in extra tight around him, and thrown an extra "I love you" through Henry's door, Robin was under the comforter as instructed.

"I see you followed directions," Regina commented primly as she picked his boxers off of the floor and tossed them into the laundry bin, allowing him a long gaze at the curve of her butt as she bent over to retrieve them. As long as she focused on him, on his pleasure and the heat of his eyes as they scanned her body, she could put his conversation with Roland from her mind. Sliding the zipper of her dress down her back with one dexterous hand, she shook her shoulders and felt the material fall around her ankles. Her bra came next, all with her back turned towards her lover.

"Regina..." His voice was near-whisper, and made her smile. Her clothes followed his into the hamper, and then she was swaying over to the bed to slip under the covers with him.

"I do like a man who can follow commands," she whispered in his ear, before he grabbed her around the waist and, with a merciless tickle, rolled her onto her back and laid his lips against hers.

. . .

A while later, bodies half-buried under the comforter and half-cooling in the night air circulating in from the cracked bedroom window, Regina pressed a kiss to Robin's chest and let her fingers twine amongst his atop his abs. One finger stroked along the plane of her back, following first the curve of her spine, then the delicate line of each rib, and then the swell of her breast where it rose from her side.

Regina was perfectly content to lay this way until sleep claimed them, but it seemed Robin had other ideas. Unbeknownst to her, Robin had continued to mull over the conversation he'd had with his son at bedtime, and now seemed as good of a time to bring it up as any other.

"Regina?" The woman in question hummed against his chest in response. "After Henry, did you ever think about having any more children?" Regina stiffened, almost imperceptibly, in his arms, and was slow to answer.

"No. I didn't think I could love another child as much as I loved Henry." The former Queen was grateful for the darkness of the room as she battled fiercely against her anxious heartbeat.

"And now you have Roland, as well. Has your opinion changed?" Robin curled the fingers of his free hand into the hair at the base of her skull, making her shiver. Thinking of the curly haired boy at the end of the hall, she refrained from swatting at him.

"Of course. Even in that awful year without Henry, Roland was the only bright light in my life." Regina rolled away from her boyfriend, but scooted back into the center of the bed as an invitation for his arms to wrap around her. He complied easily.

"The only bright spot, your majesty?" Robin teased, his face buried against her messy curls.

"Especially considering this insufferable thief kept trying to talk to me." Robin pinched the skin above her hipbone in a tickle, making her squirm away from him and squeal.

"You loved me the moment you set eyes on me, admit it." Robin's voice held a pout, so Regina pressed a kiss to the inside of the bicep curled under her head.

"I loved Roland the moment I set eyes on him, certainly." Another kiss. "You? I'm not convinced." Robin chuckled but pulled her back against him. For a little while, they were quiet together, and Regina let her eyes drift closed, hopeful that their conversation was over.

"Do you think you would ever want to have more children?" There was something in Robin's voice that Regina hadn't heard too often before—a kind of unsure hopefulness, a treading lightly that was unusual for the brash outlaw she held dear. The question made her sick to her stomach, but her heart, streaked through with red patches thanks to the boys who were sleeping in her house at this very moment, beat desperately for her to answer him. Anything he wanted, she needed to give to him. Her heart hurt when his did, and felt his nervousness as keenly as if it were her own.

"Of course, Robin." Regina desperately hoped she had made her voice sound calm.

"Really?" Robin propped himself up on one elbow, his arm pulling slightly from under her head and forcing her to roll backwards until she was looking up at him. She kept her gaze resolutely on his forehead, on the space between his eyebrows that made it seems as though she was looking in his eyes without having to face the crystalline blue joy she knew she'd find there.

"If that's what you want," she replied, and might have continued—might have tried to make that sound a little more enthused—but Robin's lips were already pressed tightly to hers. His kiss stole the breath from her lungs, all warm tongue and playful teeth, and then his hands were at her waist, rolling her under him completely. Her body responded to him as it always had, goosebumps rising under the graze of his palms and heat spreading low through her belly. She didn't have to find any more words, which was a relief, but she suddenly fought a wave of guilt as he slid within her and groaned her name, softer than ever, in one ear. "If that's what you want..."

. . .

She had tried her best to be imposing and self-confident upon striding into Mr. Gold's shop. Blood red lipstick, dark stockings, deep purple suit jacket and pencil skirt, perfectly straight hair that curled only slightly into her cheekbones and neck—every inch of her physical appearance was designed to distract from the desperation she was battling away from her eyes. The bell that jingled as she stepped through the door set her teeth on edge, and she squeezed one hand into a fist just to feel the pricks of her nails against her palm.

"Regina. How can I help you today?" Gold was sitting on a stool behind one of his counters, polishing rows upon rows of ornate silver and gold rings. Regina glanced around, as she always did, unsure of what she was looking for.

"I have a question for you," she stated as he continued polishing. "Why didn't you teach me any healing magic?" Gold cocked an eyebrow in her direction.

"Where would the purpose have been in that? You wanted to kill Snow White and I wanted you to bring us here." The shop proprietor slid a ring back into its velvet slot and stood, turning away from Regina to put the box back in its case.

"So there _are_ ways to use magic to heal." Gold placed a new box on the counter, this time full of diamond rings that made Regina's fingertips itch to touch them, and resumed his polishing.

"I didn't say that." Regina huffed and crossed her arms.

"Give me a straight answer, Rumple. Could you teach me healing magic?" He returned a ring to the box and met Regina's gaze.

"I could. It is difficult, but I could do it." Regina made the mistake of letting her shoulders fall with relief, before she remembered who she was talking to.

"Okay, so teach me." Gold tilted his head, that same infuriating smirk still in place.

"I don't think so," he answered. Regina sighed in frustration and placed her fists down on the countertop on either side of the box, but he continued. "Although we could make a deal. Magic always comes—"

"—with a price, I know. Trust me, I've heard that enough godforsaken times. I get it." The shopkeeper chuckled and glanced down at his rings.

"Everything comes with a price, your majesty, not just magic. Surely, you've learned that lesson quite well by now." Stepping away from the counter, Regina was beginning to remember why she loathed Rumplestiltskin, and she realized that her "calm and collected" veneer had fallen by the wayside.

"What is it that you want from me in exchange for lessons?" Although Regina was no longer facing her former tutor, she watched in her peripheral vision as he rose, leaning on his cane with both hands in a show of deep thinking.

"You see, my dear Regina, I happen to know that your son doesn't like the idea of you doing magic." The brunette was willing to concede to the truth of that statement, but Gold continued. "And I happen to know that both you and Emma are of the opinion that I might be... how shall I put this?" Regina glanced at him, and found him watching her keenly. "A bad influence on my grandson."

"Probably because we know you would be." She couldn't help herself, and regretted the bite of her words as soon as they left her mouth, but Gold only slid his free hand into the pocket of his slacks.

"If you want me to teach you how to use magic to heal yourself," he continued, unfazed. "I want Henry to come and work in my shop, just in the evenings, maybe some weekends. I'll pay him, and you can start teaching him how to be a good, responsible teenager. You'll have to be the parent that teaches him that lesson, of course. We can't have the unwed-and-pregnant jailbird showing him, can we?" The brunette was already shaking her head.

"No, I don't want Henry coming here."

Gold spread his hands out in front of him. "Then we don't have a deal."

"That's it? Either Henry or nothing?" Regina spun on her heel and stalked to the door.

"It's your choice, dearie," Gold called after her. "It's always been your choice."

. . .

When Regina stalked into the library at two o'clock on a Tuesday afternoon, Belle was only somewhat surprised. Regina was a relatively regular visitor, often bringing Roland in the evenings on a hunt for bedtime stories or Henry on weekends in search of research for school. Still, watching her enter alone and, without asking any questions, strut towards the reference section Belle kept stocked only with books of a magical nature, the new Mrs. Gold found her curiosity piqued. After a few hours of muttering and books pulled off shelves and piled on a nearby table, Belle decided to risk conversation.

"Regina? Is there anything I can do to help you?" The woman in question was flipping through the index of a small, dusty book covered in deep blue leather.

"No, I'm fine," the mayor returned with a snap, shutting the book and returning it to the shelf. Belle still found it hard to look past Regina's past actions. She often wondered why it was so easy for her to see the good in Rumple but so difficult for her to find it in the Evil Queen, but she also knew that Rumple was her true love. In that respect, Belle found herself much more easily relating to Robin and his young son than the woman standing before her.

"I know this collection pretty well. If you're looking for a particular topic—"

"I don't need your help." Belle straightened in the face of Regina's obvious annoyance and nodded.

"Alright. Let me know if you change your mind." She turned to go back to her desk, but Regina sighed.

"I'm sorry." Belle paused, eyebrows raised, then turned back to the older woman.

"Excuse me?" Regina placed the book she was currently scanning on the shelf in front of her and leaned forward against it momentarily.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you." Grabbing the book, the mayor moved past Belle towards her pile of books. "I had an unpleasant conversation with your husband this morning and I unfairly took my frustrations out on you." While it was true that Regina couldn't look Belle in the eye while speaking, the young bride was still impressed to hear an unsolicited apology from the former villain.

"Alright." Belle leaned casually against the end of the shelving unit. "I can still help if you need it."

"Thank you," Regina replied, lifting her pile into her arms. "I need to take these home." Belle headed for her desk.

"Let me scan them and you can have them for a month." Regina laid them down one by one and pulled a cloth shopping bag from her purse, into which the books went. Belle tried hard not to wonder what the books had in common, but their titles made it too easy. _Physiomagicks_, _The Complete Health Spellbook_, _Magical Anatomies_, and several books in elvish that included images of organs, bones, and human silhouettes on their covers; Regina was researching magic related to the human body.

Before Belle could decide whether it was pushing her luck to ask Regina what she was working on, the older woman had tossed a last "thank you" over her shoulder and headed out the doors.

. . .

By the time Regina had stashed her books in the vault under her father's crypt, she had barely enough time to start dinner before picking Roland up from his preschool program. The little family had fallen into a simple routine: Regina took Henry to middle school before work at seven, then finished her work day at three and picked Roland up between four and five; Robin took Roland to school before work at nine, then made his way home, usually, in time for dinner.

Today, the crockpot in the kitchen was bubbling away as Regina unbuckled Roland from his booster seat and looked up to see her eldest son strolling down the sidewalk.

"Henry!" Roland cried out in delight, racing past his "Mama's" legs. Regina closed the car door and leaned against it for a moment, feeling her heart swell as her teenager swung Roland up into a tight embrace, the littler boy's legs wrapping around his hips and his arms around Henry's shoulders. Next to Henry, Paige laughed and helped catch his hat as it flew backwards thanks to an unintentional hit from Roland's forehead. The trio made their way up to the front porch and met Regina as she was unlocking the door.

"Mom, is it okay if Paige stays for dinner? I tried to text you, but my phone died."

"Hats and jackets _in_ the closet please," Regina reminded the chaos of arms and legs before her. "Of course it's alright. Have you let your parents know, Paige?" The sweet, young girl nodded while helping Roland reach a hanger.

"Yes, Ms. Mills. Tonight, I'm with the Graces, but Daddy knows, too." Henry and Paige started for the stairs, so Roland made to follow them, but Regina decided to spare them momentarily.

"Roland, do you think you could help me make dessert for tonight?" The little boy looked undecided, glancing between his hero big brother and his beloved mother. "Since it is a Friday night and Paige will be here, we need to have a very special dessert."

"Brownies?" Regina kept in a grin, and nodded very seriously. "With sprinkles?"

"I think so!" she answered, holding out her hand for him as the teens escaped to Henry's room. "Door open, young man," she called up after them, ignoring Henry's groan of embarrassment.

"And butterscotch chips?" Regina lifted her youngest son onto a stool at the counter and placed a bowl in front of him.

"Absolutely."

. . .

Dinner that night was a lively affair, filled with stories about the eighth grade's new guinea pig and an upcoming science lab in which they were going to be testing flammable elements. Robin, confused by so much about the modern world, could not understand why any teacher would allow children to blow things up for no reason _inside_ of a building, but Regina assured him that it was a regular part of the middle school curriculum.

Talk then turned to Robin's work with the Merry Men; both Henry and Roland were fascinated by the construction going on all around Storybrooke, and they wanted to know as much about building houses as they could regardless of the fact that Regina refused to allow them to go to any of the sites.

"You know, we have a couple of places that are almost ready for the cement foundation," Robin commented to Regina as dessert was being served. The kids were piled into the couches in the living room, voting on a DVD. Regina bet that _Monsters University_ would be the only movie they could agree on.

"That's wonderful," she replied, not entirely sure what that meant.

"I was thinking about taking Roland with me on Monday." Regina looked up sharply from scooping ice cream onto warm brownies, and Robin raised his hands placatingly. "At this point, we need to pin some measurements using steel rods and twine. The ground has been flattened, there won't be any large construction vehicles, and absolutely no chemicals or dust." Regina resumed serving dessert, but looked concerned. "He hates when Henry goes to Emma's for the week."

"I know," the brunette replied, sighing in defeat as she placed the ice cream back in the freezer. "You're his father, Robin. You don't need permission from me to take him to work with you." She grabbed two of the bowls and indicated to him that he should grab the third. They brought dessert into the living room and Regina made sure that all three kids had napkins—extra for Roland—before she and Robin returned to the kitchen.

"And you're his mother," he replied, sliding his arms around her waist as she pulled two more brownies onto a plate for them. "I want him to have something to look forward to."

Turning in his arms, Regina put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him quickly. "If you're sure it's safe, I know he'll love it." They kissed again before Regina lightly shoved him away so she could grab the brownies and sit at the kitchen table. They sat close together, his foot on the bar between the legs of her chair and her hand resting comfortably on his knee, and occasionally he paused in eating his brownie to kiss her cheek or the corner of her eye or her lips. In the living room, Roland's giggles mixed with Henry's sarcastic responses to the monsters racing across their college campus, and the sun setting outside cast the kitchen in oranges and pinks.

"I missed you today," Robin commented softly when their brownies were gone. He hooked his free leg around the side of her chair and tugged it closer to him so that she was effectively trapped between his knees.

"You miss me everyday," she teased, sliding one manicured finger across the contour of his eyebrow and down his cheek.

"True." More kissing would have commenced but Roland scampered into the room.

"Gina, can I have something to drink?" Robin let his head fall to her shoulder in amused frustration.

"Yes, I'll get you a glass." She kissed the side of Robin's head and whispered in his ear. "Two hours, thief. Then, I'm all yours."

. . .

It turned out that Robin taking Roland to work with him had succeeded in giving Regina an extra hour in the afternoon on Monday and Tuesday to begin her research. She kept the most innocuous tome—_Alfred's Potions for Wellness_—in her office, but couldn't risk the rest leaving her crypt, so her work was limited to whatever time she could give the project after her work was finished. It took almost a full week for her to gather the ingredients for the first two potions that she hoped would be successful in fixing her... problem. Friday morning, she left for work a little earlier than usual and, after speeding through the budget paperwork for an upcoming town meeting, she headed out for "lunch" by eleven.

It took four hours to brew the potion she needed. Exhausted and with aching feet, Regina downed her creation with just enough time to meet Emma at the Sheriff's station for a scheduled meeting. In the middle of their conversation, Regina felt a burning sensation in her right leg. She paused in the midst of a discussion about bringing in a second deputy and promoting David to Sheriff so that their staff would number four instead of three, and couldn't hold back a wince.

"You alright?" Emma asked, shuffling through the paperwork on her desk for a missing budget proposal. Regina shifted her legs and nodded.

"I'm fine." Ignoring the pain that had settled in her ankle, she continued explaining the basic increase in paid hours she had calculated due to the new homes on the market in Storybrooke. By the time the meeting ended, the pain had all but disappeared. She drove quickly to Roland's preschool and parked outside to wait for four o'clock. She watched as Ruby and Archie walked hand-in-hand passed the front of the school and down the street. Ruby was giggling at something Archie was telling, and she slipped—or perhaps her heel was caught—and stumbled. Archie reached out an arm and kept her upright, but they paused to investigate her twisted ankle for major injury before continuing their journey.

Regina remembered her own injury as she watched Ruby test out the flexibility of her ankle, then remove both heels and decide to walk barefoot. Before Henry had left for Emma's on Saturday, she and Robin had taken the boys to the park where Roland had talked them into playing soccer. Regina had tripped mid-game over a tree root and twisted her ankle, creating a nasty bruise on the outside of her calf and leaving her team—Henry—alone to finish losing the game. The swelling hadn't been bad, but the bruise remained.

Regina glanced down and unzipped her boot so that she could see where the bruise had been, yellow and blotchy, that morning. It was gone.

Regina sighed.

The second potion took less time to brew, but was more difficult to experience. With Henry home the next week, Regina had to be even more careful about the time she spent down in her vault. She had promised him that she wouldn't use magic unless it was an absolute emergency, and she really was trying her best to uphold that promise. Potions, she told herself, were not the same as using magic. They were just like any other medicine. She ignored the doubts that filled the back of her mind and drank the foul-smelling green potion at lunch the next Thursday.

By three, Regina knew she wasn't going to be able to pick Roland up after school. She drove herself home, crunched despairingly over the steering wheel and barely made it up the stairs before curling into a ball in the middle of her bed. Her secretary called Robin to let him know that the mayor had gone home sick, so he picked up both boys and take-out from Granny's before heading home.

He got Henry and Roland settled at the kitchen table before heading up to find his girlfriend asleep with dried tear tracks on her cheeks.

"Regina?" he called gently, sitting on the edge of the bed and stroking his fingers through her hair. Her eyes blinked open, and he could see the pain edging their deep brown.

"I didn't make dinner," she commented, apologetic, and tried to push herself up from the surface of the bed. The agony in her gut was too much, however, and she crumpled back into the mattress.

"The boys are already eating. What can I do?" Regina only shook her head and pulled her arms closer to her stomach. Looking around, Robin noticed that she still had her shoes and work clothes on, so he gently pulled off her heels and set them in the closet. Next, he peeled her stockings down her legs, pressing a kiss to the outside of one beloved thigh before throwing them in the hamper. "Do you want night clothes?" A barely perceptible nod sent him to the dresser along the bathroom wall.

It took some finagling, but he soon had Regina in her pajamas and huddled under the covers. Based on the way she kept herself huddled around her belly, he assumed she had gotten her period and didn't ask any questions. He was surprised to find himself disappointed that, this month, they were not with child, but he buried the disappointment beneath his concern for her. Kissing her on the forehead, he turned off the lights and headed downstairs for his own meal.

Although Regina felt the lack of explanation keenly, guilt that she hadn't told him what was really happening making her heart heavy, she couldn't help but feel desperately hopeful that the pain meant something positive was changing inside of her. Reaching for her cell phone, she called and scheduled an appointment to see Dr. Whale at the hospital the next day. Although the receptionist asked for the purpose of her visit, Regina kept the truth to herself.

"Just a routine check-up, please," she said to the nurse in as much of her Mayor Mills voice as she could muster given that her belly was in fiery knots. Hopefully, by tomorrow, she would know.

. . .

_Scar tissue_. _Internal and external. Difficult to estimate._ Whale's words echoed in her head. It had taken a half hour of awkwardly attempting to explain that she needed an ultrasound and a cervical exam to the man who had slept with her step daughter and brought to life her dead fiancé, without explaining why. As a last resort, an unnerved Regina had stood up from the hospital bed, stood toe to toe with the doctor, and ground out through clenched teeth, "I don't need to explain myself to you. I gave you this career. I gave you your degree. Stop asking me insipid questions and get the goddamned machine." Gulping audibly, Whale had complied, but the previous day's pain and the long-unused fury had left Regina exhausted.

As she lay on the hospital bed, exposed and terrified, she wished momentarily that she had Robin's hand in hers, his lips against her forehead. She would have much preferred to have his whispered words of affection underscoring the sharp pains and points of pressure she felt from Whale's instruments. Instead, she had only the doctor's monotone voice, diagnosing what she was already too familiar with. _Scarred effacement almost entirely complete. Uneven lining. Possible toxic environment._

So the potions had failed, and so had her patience. She _had_ promised Henry not to use magic any more, but this was different, or at least, that's what she told herself repeatedly as she poured over spell books during her lunch hours. She wasn't seeking vengeance or cursing anyone. All she wanted to do was give Robin his happy ending.

Almost three weeks after her secret trip to the hospital, as Robin lay in her arms, his manhood softening within her and their hearts racing at the same galloping pace, he had pressed a kiss to the column of her neck and whispered, "You are going to be so beautiful when you are carrying our child. I can't wait to watch you grow."

She had thanked every star in the heavens that it was almost pitch black in their room as tears leaked out from behind her eyes. Regina had long ago learned to cry without making a sound—indeed, without her breath hitching in the slightest—and she used that knowledge to its fullest extent, arms tightening around her lover in a gesture he mistook for hopeful delight. Sleep evaded her for most of that night, only bringing peace to her tortured mind as the red numbers on her alarm rolled from three to four in the morning.

. . .

"So, Henry, your mom tells me you've started working at the library after school," David commented as they dove into their meals. "How's that going?" Henry nodded with a mouthful of baked macaroni and cheese.

"It's good," he mumbled, before catching the half-hearted glare from Mary Margaret and pausing to chew. "I like working there because Mrs. Gold lets me listen to music, and I'm good at working with the books."

"Plus, you're starting to earn a little of your own spending money, right?" Emma ran her hand backwards through his hair and he playfully shoved her arm away.

"Yeah. It's not much," the teen shrugged, "but it's interesting. Sometimes I get to look at peoples' check out histories." Across the table, David and Killian chuckled.

"Anybody weird checking out romance novels or self-help books?" The comment earned the prince an elbow to the ribs from his wife and a kick to the shins from his daughter. "What?"

"Nah, just normal stuff. Like Archie? He's started checking out books on cooking and baking. I think it's 'cause of Ruby and him dating now. He probably wants to impress her. Oh!" Henry dropped his fork down and leaned back in his chair, grinning. "That giant dude on the custodial staff at school?" Mary Margaret nodded in recognition. "He has like all of these knitting and sewing books checked out."

"Ryan Gosling knits," Emma commented in an offhand way, knowing that the only people who would get the reference were Henry and herself.

"Yeah, but can you picture this guy trying to make, like, baby booties or gloves? His hands are enormous!" Henry's widened eyes and spread fingers as he spoke made everyone laugh, but Mary Margaret defended the patron.

"I totally believe that he is a wonderful knitter," she said, scooping more pasta onto her grandson's plate. "I'm sure the night shift gets boring and he needs something to pass the time."

"I did see something strange, though, yesterday." Henry looked pensively at a piece of macaroni that he'd speared on the end of his fork. "Mom's name came up while I was sorting through the recent check out sheets."

"That's not unusual, Henry," Emma commented. "She takes Roland there once or twice a week."

"Yeah, but the books on the list... they were all about magic and potions and stuff." The adults at the table did their best to seem unaffected by the topic, but Henry still looked troubled. Emma spoke up.

"I thought you asked Regina not to use magic anymore." Henry nodded, leaning back in his chair slightly.

"Yeah, I mean," he shrugged, "she's promised not to use magic a couple of times, but I thought it was going to stick this time."

"That's a bit unfair, now, isn't it?" Several heads snapped towards Hook as he spoke up from his end of the table. He had one eyebrow raised in Henry's direction, but his stance was entirely casual.

"What do you mean?" Snow asked gently, always a little nervous around the topic of her step-mother.

"Well, we certainly didn't ask her not to use magic when she saved us from Pan's curse." Henry looked thoughtful, but Emma shook her head.

"Maybe we should talk about this later. Henry, I'm sure your mom isn't—"

"She _had_ to use magic because she cast the curse in the first place," Henry interrupted.

"You're right." Killian gestured widely with his hook. "I forgot she was only breaking her promise to you when she altered her memories of you growing up so Emma could have them. Oh, and that one time she kept Zelena from killing your uncle. That was a bad choice, too, eh?"

"Hook," Emma asked, exasperated. "Why are you so hell bent on defending her?" The ship captain was silent for a moment, then he shook his head a little and reached for his beer.

"Just makin' casual conversation, love." Taking a swig of his drink and then gesturing with the bottle towards Henry, he repeated what Emma had begun to say, "Anyway, Henry, I aim to say that I'm sure your mother wouldn't break her promise to you."

"Killian's right," David finally sighed as he wiped cheese from Neal's reaching hands. "Regina has only used magic recently when we've had an emergency to face."

"Which just makes her research more worrisome." At Mary Margaret's words, Henry stopped eating once more.

"Why?" he asked, looking between his grandmother and mother, who shared a glance.

"Well, if she's doing magic... if she's broken her promise to you, Henry..." Mary Margaret's voice trailed off, and David finished for her.

"Then she must have a good reason." No one looked pleased by that prospect.

. . .

After dinner, with Henry ensconced before his beloved laptop for his allotted hour before bed and Neal babbling to his toys in a playpen by the fireplace, the adults settled in the living room with mugs of tea and coffee.

"Do you really think Regina is doing magic again?" David asked as Mary Margaret curled up against his side on the two-seater. Emma shrugged and laid her head against the back of the couch.

"I hope not." She felt the cool edge of Killian's hook sliding through her hair and smiled a little, then remembered his words from dinner. Turning her head to look at him, she asked again, "Why don't you think it's a bad thing for her to be doing magic again?"

"I never said it wasn't a bad thing. Henry would certainly be disappointed." Emma picked up her head. "I just feel like it's a little unfair that we all expect Regina to stop being herself... unless we need her to save our arses from somebody else's magic."

"I don't think Henry is asking her to stop being herself," Mary Margaret defended softly. "He's just worried that the dark magic will end up out of her control." Emma looked thoughtful for a minute and Killian let her figure out the rest on her own.

"It is a little like that, though," she said at last, looking at her boyfriend again. "Like how you miss the Jolly Roger and being Captain. Magic is..."

"It's a part of you." This time, David spoke up. "I remember Jefferson talking about it once, when he had just gotten his magic back."

"Yeah, it's always kind of there, at the back of my mind." Emma contemplated her coffee.

"But you have light magic," David continued, in a half hearted protest to the idea that Regina should be practicing magic as well. "It's not going to make you evil." Emma could feel Killian stiffen a little beside her, and she was reminded how vehemently he had defended Regina at the kitchen table.

"What?" she asked him, laying a hand on his thigh.

"I just think it's a bit offsides for us all to assume that Regina is a ticking time bomb." He nodded out of deference to David as he continued, "I mean, you let your daughter date a pirate, and a pirate with blood on his hands from the same kind of vengeance that made Regina the Evil Queen." Emma started to protest, but he didn't let her. "We let Henry work for a woman who married the kind of man who not only taught Regina everything she knows, but killed his own wife just so no one else could have her."

For a little while, no one could respond to his words. Emma thought about the time when she and Henry had just returned to Storybrooke, when she was still thinking about heading back to New York without a single regret. In the end, it was her absolute understanding that Henry would _want_ to stay with Regina—that he wanted her to be good and believed that she _could _be good—that convinced her to stay in the tiny fairytale town. Finally, Mary Margaret spoke honestly.

"I told Regina, when we were fighting Zelena, that our past was much more complicated than we expected." Snuggling closer to David, she sighed. "You're right that it's not fair of us to expect the worst from her. Not after everything that has happened."

"The question remains, though," David continued. "Why is she researching magic now?"

. . .

"Again!" Roland cried as Robin swept him off the ground and tossed him into the air. His little-boy cackle made Regina grin in delight as she watched her boyfriend catch Roland upside down and swing him in a wide circle by his calves. Henry dove into the fray as Robin slowed his movements, hooking strong teenage arms under bony little armpits and pulling Roland away from the former thief.

"I have saved you!" Henry yelled in victory, gently placing Roland on his own two feet before turning to sweep a deep bow in Regina's direction. "My good lady, I have rescued this rapscallion from the horrible outlaw, Robin Hood!" From her perch on the top step to their back porch, Regina laughed and tilted her head in acknowledgment of the feat. Before she could offer the gallant knight a reward, however, Roland yelled in warning.

"Look out, Henry!" The fourteen year old whirled around just as Robin fake-tackled him to the ground. They tumbled in the grass together, wild yells and calls making the scene as dramatic as possible. Roland scampered in circles around them as they wrestled, calling for Regina to cheer on his knight.

Finally, Henry rolled Robin onto his back and leapt up, brandishing an invisible sword towards his chest.

"Dost thou surrender, villain?" Henry asked with an accent that mocked Robin's brogue. Robin laughed and let his head fall back into the grass.

"Aye, good knight," he replied making Roland cheer. Henry put the sword into an imaginary scabbard and turned once more to Regina.

"As I was saying, madam," he began, "I have defeated the thief. What say you to his punishment?" Regina tapped a fingernail on her chin in thoughtfulness. Behind Henry, Robin rolled over onto his stomach and pushed himself up with two strong arms. She saw it happening and momentarily froze in fear as Roland made a running leap towards Robin's back just as he made to stand. The impact sent Robin back to his knees but Roland, with a crunch of tendons in his extended wrists, was thrown back through the air.

Regina didn't think. One moment, her son was flying through the air, and the next, she was standing, hands outstretched. Magic, white as snowbells, shot from her fingertips and caught Roland before he hit the ground, holding him still for a moment before the smoke settled him gently in the grass. Henry watched in shock as she seemed to fly from the porch to where the little boy lay, already crying and craddling his hands into his chest. Robin called their names in fear, and stumbled over to them, but Regina had already swept the littlest outlaw into her arms and was shushing him with kisses to his forehead, cheeks, hair.

Regina held his little wrists in her palm and pulled his body as close to her as she could, then Henry saw the same pure, white magic erupt from her hand and sink into rapidly-swelling joints. Roland's tears rolled in fat drops down his cheeks, but the swelling decreased little by little until the magic and the injuries were both gone. Wrapping both arms around him, Regina muttered her love over and over, rocking in the grass as Roland's tears turned into whimpers and then into hitched breathing.

"Roland," Robin choked out finally. "I'm so sorry." Regina laid a hand on his face.

"You couldn't have known," she said gently, but the words were meaningless until Roland reached out his arms for a hug from his Papa. Robin took Roland and curled him into his chest, two little boy legs wrapping around his torso and two little boy arms wrapping around his neck.

"My boy," Robin choked out into Roland's messy curls. Regina seemed to come to her senses with her arms empty once more, and she looked up to find Henry's gaze. Misinterpreting his surprise, and seeming to realize that she had just used magic, the former Queen of the realm felt her heart drop and turned her gaze to the grass in front of her. She rose and made her way over to her son, one hand rubbing at the back of her neck.

"I'm sorry, Henry," she started, spreading her hands out before her as if they were stained with evil still. "I didn't even think, I just—"

"You just protected your family," Henry interrupted, his fourteen-year-old gaze far too wise and knowing for her liking. "Mom, you did light magic again." Regina twisted her hands together and nodded. "Can you do that all of the time?"

"I don't know." That was the truth. During all of the healing spells she had been practicing, her magic had erupted in swirls of purple, but Henry didn't need to know about that yet. After it worked, perhaps, but not now. "I don't think so."

"Mom, I'm sorry. I should never have asked you not to do magic." Regina looked shocked for a second before she masked the emotion expertly and patted his cheek gently.

"Don't apologize," she told him. "You're my son. I don't ever want you to feel afraid of me ever again."

"I don't! It was just—" Whatever Henry was going to say was interrupted when Roland called Regina's name. They turned to see Robin on his feet once more, Roland on one hip. The little boy was reaching towards them, so Regina pulled him to her, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you," he sniffled into her shirt. Regina smiled sadly and laid her cheek against his forehead.

"Always, love," she said quietly. "What do you think about a bath and some noodles for dinner?" Roland nodded, so Regina turned towards the house and the little family headed inside.

As Roland played contentedly in the bathtub, Regina made her way to the kitchen where Robin had been put in charge of boiling the water for dinner. She found him sitting by the table, his elbows on his knees and his face cradled in his hands. Henry was pretending to pay complete attention to the spaghetti and sauce, so she crouched down by her boyfriend's feet and threaded her fingers through the hair at the base of his neck.

"Robin, he's fine. He's safe and sound." Her right hand rested on his knee, and when he lifted his face, he covered it with his larger one.

"I didn't see him coming," he near-whispered, his gaze pained and full of regret. "I don't even know what happened."

"And now he's upstairs blowing bubbles in the bathtub without any scrapes or tears." Regina brushed a single tear from his cheek with her thumb. "It's not your fault." A cry of "Papa?" came from upstairs and Regina smiled. "See? He needs his Papa to get him a towel." Robin stood, drawing in a shaky breath, but before he could leave the room, Regina pulled him into a gentle kiss.

"Thank you," he murmured as they separated, giving her hips a squeeze. She patted him on the ass as he headed for the stairs, which made him smile just a little, so she counted it a success and turned to dinner. She pulled Henry to her in a fake-chokehold and kissed his temple. He squirmed and laughed, relinquishing the stove to her.

"Did I ever get hurt like that?" Henry asked as he pulled plates and utensils from their cupboards.

"Mmhmm," Regina hummed her response, draining the pasta. "The first time I ever bought you a tricycle, when you were maybe four or five years old, you decided that it would become part of an elaborate obstacle course in the backyard. I was making dinner and I looked down, then suddenly heard a crash. Your little body was twisted around the handlebars of the tricycle and you were screaming." Regina rested the pot of strained noodles in the bottom of the sink, lost in the memory. "When I got outside, you had some bruises and scrapes, and a bump on your head, but nothing serious." Shaking her head, she lifted the pot back on the stove and poured in the heated pizza sauce—Roland's favorite.

"What happened after that?" Henry retrieved the shaker cheese from the fridge and placed it on the table.

"You talked me into ice cream before dinner for four nights in a row until the bump went away." Henry giggled and impulsively kissed his mother on the cheek.

"I'll have to tip Roland off. You're a secret pushover." Regina swiped him with a towel as she brought the pasta over to the table.

"Don't you dare!" she laughed, shooting him a half-hearted glare.

"Don't you dare, what?" Robin asked, making his way down the stairs with a pajama-clad Roland on one hip. The little boy reached for Regina who gladly pulled him into a tight hug before settling him in his booster seat at the table.

"I suggested that we have a movie night tonight and I told mom I was going to get Roland to convince her that we should make s'mores in the fireplace." At Henry's words, Roland's eyes widened in delight.

"Can we, Mama?!" Everyone at the table froze for a moment. Regina's heart was in her throat, and she looked, unsure, in Robin's direction. He swallowed, his eyes wet but joyful and shining with love, and nodded gently.

"Of course, Roland," Regina finally choked out. "What movie would you like to watch?" Conversation moved on to movie choices, and the newest moniker didn't come up again. Still, Regina felt something very warm and very full settle in her heart as she watched her family knit itself even closer together after such a tumultuous evening.

**A/N The first two thirds of this story is already written and will be posted shortly. I am also working on Part 2 of Predictable, so never fear! It will arrive soon!**


	2. Pain

**Pay the Price in Scars**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time or its characters; Regina Mills belongs to Kitsis/Horowitz and Lana Parilla and Robin Hood belongs to Kitsis/Horowitz and Sean Maguire. The plot for this story is my own. Please leave feedback!**

**Synopsis: What makes a family? Where do you draw the line between selfish and selfless? Regina's past as the Queen has followed her into her present, and it is starting to affect her future. OutlawQueen with sprinkles of CaptainSwan, Snowing, Rumbelle, and RedCricket.**

"Well, now, your Majesty," Robin drawled hotly against the skin of her neck as he embraced Regina from behind. She closed the door behind Little John and an over-excited Roland who were headed for the movie theater and an Uncle-sleepover, grinning at the teasing use of her former title. "It seems both of our boys have vacated the premises." Regina shivered as his lips suckled behind her ear, against the strong cords of her neck, at her pulse point. "What will we do to pass the time without them?"

A few weeks had passed since Roland's injuries in the backyard, and although Henry seemed more inquisitive about her magic than he had ever been before, she had managed to keep her research and healing attempts a secret. All of the hiding and snagging free minutes out of her already-busy days, however, had left her with little time to spend with Robin. They had evenings together as a family, which were often boisterously joyful especially as summer approached and good weather became the norm. Time with just one another, however, was scarce. Regina turned in his arms and leaned back against the front door, looping her arms around his midsection.

"You mean to tell me you don't have any ideas," she answered, eyes half-lidded and cheeks pink with heat. He kissed her, then, slowly and deeply, mouth open and teeth snagging her bottom lip until it was plump and her hands were grasping at his back. Nothing felt rushed. She kept him pressed tightly against her, revelling in the weight of his torso against her breasts, and caught his lips again, then again. At first, his hands splayed against the wood on either side of her head, giving him some purchase as he lost himself in the taste of her mouth, but he soon desired the feel of her hair sliding through his fingers, so he slipped one hand between her head and the door.

Outside, perhaps several houses down the street, someone locked their car and the ensuing double-beep broke their concentration long enough for Regina to take Robin's hand gently and lead him up the stairs. He kept his gaze on the way their fingers looked locked together, ignoring the sway of her ass in tight blue jeans lest the night move too quickly and their time together end up wasted.

When they reached their bedroom, Regina let go of his hand, sliding her fingers along his until they were separated, and moved to open one of the bedroom windows, letting warm evening air filter in through the screen. She had recognized, very early on in her relationship with the outlaw, that Robin genuinely missed life in the forest. Both he and Roland had taken months to adjust to falling asleep in the relative quiet of the indoors, and whenever the weather was nice, she left windows open in their rooms so that the sounds and smells of the world outside could ease their minds. Now, she discovered, she wanted the feeling of loving him with the smell of summer filling the room.

Returning to her boyfriend, she lifted her shirt above her head and let it drop to the floor. Robin grinned a little, lopsided grin and pulled her back to him with large hands on her trim waist. He gleefully slipped two hands up her spine and unclasped her bra, pride shining in his eyes. Regina laughed a little as her fingertips found the hem of his shirt.

"I'm glad I learned that one," he commented quietly before helping her peel the t-shirt from his torso.

"Mm, me, too," Regina hummed, leaning in and kissing him. One of her hands curled around the back of his head, while the other settled above where his heart rested, one warm palm searching for and finding the steady beat of his pulse. Robin's hands were not so idle. He allowed himself the delight of slipping rough fingertips up and down the column of her spine, along the arches of her ribs to where her breasts rose into swells, and back down to toy with the waistline of her blue jeans. They took their time, mindful that, for a rare occurrence, they would not be interrupted by little feet or teenage impatience.

Robin could feel Regina growing heated in his arms, her nipples pebbled against his chest and her breaths coming more deeply and quickly. Knowing that he could make her feel pleasured, watching her eyes darken and her kisses become more wanton, stirred his own desire from deep within his belly. Gently, he slid his hands inside her jeans and deftly unbuttoned them, sliding down their zipper and peeling them down. Regina pulled her lips from his as he knelt, following the fabric to the floor where she slipped off her flats and let her step out of the pants. Sliding his hands up the backs of her smooth calves, and once again wondering at the technology of the modern world that kept her skin smoother than fine silk, he pressed a slow kiss, lips and teeth and tongue and heat, to the satin covering her center. Regina's head fell back and she felt a gush of heat flood through her body.

The outlaw stood and pulled her back into a kiss, more hurriedly shoving his own jeans to the floor and stepping out of his boots. Regina slid one hand down his chest and cupped his hard length, holding it, then massaging it gently. Robin groaned and grabbed her wrist, lifting to press a kiss to the palm that had just been torturing him. He turned to their bed and lifted the sheet and comforter, making a space for her to crawl into. When he joined her, she leaned in until he was laying on his back, then straddled his thighs.

"I love you," she murmured quietly as he pulled just the sheet up to cover her shoulders, kissing him again. He nudged her panties down her thighs, first with his fingertips, then with a knee, then with his toes, until her body was bare and pressed against him.

"As I love you," he responded as soon as he found the strength to tear his lips from hers. Regina smiled, a small quirk of the lips she reserved only for him when they were quiet, together, like this. Hooking her arms under his shoulders, she found she couldn't contain the heat any longer and rocked her hips against his. They both hummed a little in pleasure; the bulge of his manhood under his boxers settled into the folds of her body, meeting heat and wetness.

Regina felt a twinge of pain at the base of her spine, but ignored it in favor of another twist of her hips. Muscles at the base of her stomach answered that pain with a surge of their own, but again, she ignored them. Robin pulled one of her breasts into his mouth and cupped her ass in his hands, squeezing firmly and sending a jolt of pleasure to her center. She groaned out his name, and he rolled them so she was on her back beneath him.

It took a bit of twisting, making them both chuckle, but Robin's boxers soon joined Regina's panties at the bottom of the bed, caught somewhere under the covers and forgotten instantly. Skin met skin, and Regina moaned as his head nudged against her opening. The same feeling of cramping muscle twisted across her pelvis, but Robin sank home, burying himself deep within her, and their breathless moans erased the thought of it from her mind. Slowly, then gaining depth and speed, Robin thrust himself into her, one hand planted next to her heaving breasts, the other guiding her by her hips.

The feel of him inside of her was familiar and delicious. Even from the first time they had made love, awkward and clumsy and full of laughter as it had been, when he slid himself into her, she felt like she was coming home. Nothing had ever felt as complete to her as their love did. She missed the feeling when he pulled from her body in the aftermath, and she craved the feeling when they spent days apart for whatever reason was to blame. Yet, tonight, each time his manhood disappeared into her folds, a slice of pain lanced across her body. At first, it was easily ignored, but as their passion rose, so did the feeling of wrenching muscles and tearing pain. As Robin's eyes clouded with lust, Regina's filled with fear. She didn't know what was happening, but it was becoming uncontrollable. Within minutes, she could no longer feel the pleasure that he brought her filling her insides, only the gut-wrenching stabs of pain that laced her back and pelvis. She cried out.

At first, Robin thought her cries were ones of pleasure, but in seconds, he noticed the taut way she was holding her body, felt the absence of her hands as she grasped at the sheets in terror, and saw that her eyes were filled, not with heat but with pain. Scrambling away from her, he held his hands up.

"Regina, what is it?" The brunette curled her legs up, unable to keep from whimpering and shaking, although her hands reached for him.

"Robin," was all she could choke out. He clasped her hands in his own, terrified.

"Did I do something?" She shook her head, but the pain only worsened and she cried out, pulling him towards her without even meaning to. Robin laid a single hand on her lower back, seeing the muscles there were tense and rippling, but the instant his palm met her skin, she convulsed, body contorting first away from his palm and then into it, her back like a young sapling being bent for a bow. Under her skin, flashes of swirling purple appeared to rise and sink, writhing. "Regina," Robin almost yelled, leaping up from the bed and cupping his hands around her head, which he feared she would hit against the headboard or side table. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she trembled, her shaking not easing at all. A minute passed, perhaps two, and Robin remembered that this land had medical services, so he grabbed Regina's cell phone.

Desperately trying to remember what Henry had taught him, Robin pressed three numbers and then held the phone to his ear. Regina seemed to be looking at him, but he doubted that she could sense anything beyond whatever pain had taken a hold of her body.

"I need help. My wife," he didn't even notice the slip, "something is wrong. She is in pain. She is shaking. She can't stop. Please help me." The woman on the other end of the phone asked for his address, but he couldn't remember it. "The mayor's house. Please, it's Regina."

The woman told him that the ambulance would arrive in minutes, and he should prepare anything he needed to bring with them to the hospital. Realizing that they were both naked, he surrounded a trembling Regina with pillows and comforter, then ripped on his discarded pants and shirt and found a robe to wrap around his lover. Outside, the sirens announced the arrival of help, so he swept a still-seizing Regina into his arms and raced down the stairs.

In the ambulance, Robin found himself in a surreal whirl of activity. Monitors and machines that he didn't recognize or understand beeped and blinked around the whimpering body of the love of his life. Minutes before, she had been hot and alive in his arms. Now, she looked tiny and cold on a blue plastic stretcher. What was happening?

. . .

At Granny's Diner during the afternoon lull the next day, Mary Margaret and David were enjoying a late shift lunch with Archie when the subject of Regina and magic came up once more. Occasionally, when Ruby had a spare moment, she slid onto a stool next to her boyfriend and joined their conversation.

"I don't like the idea of her doing magic at all," the beautiful waitress commented, absentmindedly running the fingers of her left hand through the sparse hair at the base of Archie's neck.

"Emma seems to think it's fine," David responded, shrugging. "Said it's a part of who she is."

"Yeah, but Evil is a part of who she is, too." Mary Margaret looked torn between agreeing and disagreeing with her daughter. She and Regina had come a long way from a past filled with animosity and misunderstanding, but she definitely remembered life in fear of the Evil Queen's hatred.

"Now, we mustn't unfairly reinforce the idea that Regina is permanently destined to be a villain." Archie laid a hand on Ruby's knee to soften his disagreement, but spoke firmly. "She has done many acts of goodness since the first curse."

"But are we sure this is another one?" The bell over the door jingled, so Ruby kissed him on the cheek and left to get the entering family a table.

"Archie, what do you think?" The psychologist shook his head, his forehead creased in thought.

"It's difficult to say. As Regina's therapist, she hasn't needed to speak with me in many moons—certainly not since Henry's return to Storybrooke. And as her friend, well… I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt." Mary Margaret smiled ruefully and nodded in agreement with his words. Just then, the bell over the door sounded again and Belle bounced in cheerfully. Spotting her friends at the counter, she made her way over and embraced Mary Margaret.

"Come, sit with us if you have a few minutes," the former princess requested, to which Belle acquiesced. "We were actually just talking about something you might be able to shed light on."

"Belle, what can I get for you?" Ruby called lightly from down the bar.

"A diet coke and a burger, please!" Belle responded, before turning back to Mary Margaret. "What do you need help with?"

"Henry told us that Regina is researching magic," David answered without preamble. Belle sighed in disappointment, and shook her head.

"Henry should not be talking about what the patrons are checking out. I spoke to him briefly about patron privacy, but I will have to have another conversation this afternoon." David and Mary Margaret looked guilty for a brief moment, but their worry about Regina's behavior surpassed it quickly. "Anyway, I'm not entirely sure she is doing magic. She's been researching healing, the human body… even human growth. These are not things you would necessarily practice just for the sake of doing magic."

"It still doesn't tell us much about why she'd be researching it, though, does it?" With Mary Margaret's words, David's cell phone beeped.

"Lunch is over for me," he sighed, rising and kissing Mary Margaret lightly. "See you later."

"I love you!" she called out as he strutted out the door, receiving a grin in return through the glass windows. Archie rose as well, and tucked a few bills under his empty plate.

"I'm afraid I also must be going. I have an appointment soon." Ruby made her way over and slipped her arms around his middle, accepting a quick kiss to the temple. Archie wasn't one for too much public affection, but she pinched his sides lovingly as they separated anyway. "Thank you ladies for a lovely lunch."

"Bye," Ruby said has he left, leaning against the bar and watching him walk away until the giggles from her friends shook her out of her daydreams. "Oh, stop it, you two!" she cried, snapping a towel in their direction as Granny called up a completed order.

"Bye," Belle imitated dreamily as her burger was placed before her. Ruby blushed and threatened to squirt ketchup on her friend, but relented when Belle squealed and almost fell off her stool. Their shenanigans might have continued further, but Mary Margaret's cell phone rang. She picked up the phone as Belle started to eat, but the worried look that crossed her face made the young woman put her burger back down.

"What? Why?" A response from the other end. "Of course. I'll get him right now." More silence. "What about Henry?" Pause. "Alright, of course. Mmhmm. I love you, too." When she had hung up the call, she slipped the phone into the pocket of her dress and slid off the stool. "I have to go pick up Roland from pre-school." Belle looked confused. "Regina and Robin are in the hospital. Emma wants us to meet her there."

. . .

"Is this where Papa is?," Roland asked as Mary Margaret guided him through the sliding glass doors of the hospital. Belle was parking the car, but Regina's step daughter was too impatient to wait.

"I think so," she said kindly to the boy whose hand she gripped in her own. "See, there's Emma!" Roland didn't seem too excited to see his step-brother's other mother, especially since he didn't see Henry anywhere, but he offered a small smile in response. "What's happening?," Mary Margaret asked as Emma rose from a plastic chair. The blonde glanced worriedly at Roland, then back to her mother.

"They called me because Robin requested that I pick Henry up from soccer after school." Roland wandered over to the vending machine in the corner and peered up at the Doritos. "I came here first to find out if they needed me to keep him or bring him to the hospital, but they won't tell me anything." Belle joined the pair of women and nodded.

"It's part of the privacy laws of this world. Only family will be given information about a patient." Emma sighed and raked her fingers through her hair.

"Well, I need to pick up Henry in twenty minutes." Roland tugged on Mary Margaret's skirt.

"Mrs. Nolan? Can I have a dollar?" His sweet grin made all three ladies smile through their worry.

"How about you and Emma go get Henry and get pizza for dinner?" Roland seemed to contemplate this idea.

"Mama only lets us have pizza on Fridays." Mary Margaret crouched down in front of Roland who was twisting the hem of his shirt in his fingers. "Can I ask Mama?"

"Right now, Mama and Papa are visiting a doctor, so they are very busy. Do you remember when the nurse at school checked your eyes and ears?" Roland nodded, but looked skeptical. "Well, until they're done with the doctor, you and Henry need to spend time with Emma."

"When will they be done?" Mary Margaret held out her hands and he put his little fingers into her palms.

"I'm not sure, sweetie. But I promise to call Emma as soon as they are so you and Henry can come back and see them." Roland thought about her words for a second before nodding.

"Okay. But Mama says we have to eat salad before pizza." Looking up at Emma, Roland twisted from side to side. "Is that okay?" Emma grinned.

"Definitely, little man," she answered, holding out her hand for him to take. "I'll call you later," she told Mary Margaret before leading the littlest Merry Man back out of the hospital.

Standing from her crouched position, Mary Margaret scanned the waiting area and noticed two nurses at the desk. "I think I can make a case for being Regina's family," she told Belle softly. "If she's the patient, they should allow me into her room. Poor Robin probably has no idea what any of this medical technology means." Belle nodded.

"You do that. I'll try to find Whale and get some basic information. After all this talk about Regina's magic research, I'm worried it might not even be a physiological issue." Nodding in agreement, Mary Margaret squeezed Belle's bicep in thanks and moved towards the nurses.

. . .

Almost an hour later, when Dr. Whale entered Regina's hospital room, he found her sitting up in bed with Robin asleep on her right and Mary Margaret looking concerned on her left. When she saw that he held paperwork in his hand, presumably the results of whatever tests he had run, she laid a gentle hand on the back of Robin's neck. The man awoke with a start, but she soothed him with his name and a gentle rub down his back.

"I'd like to discuss your results," Whale began, entering the room more fully and closing the door behind him. He glanced at Mary Margaret, then back at Regina. "Would you prefer to speak alone?"

"No," Regina answered, too tired to elaborate. Robin stood and pulled her hand into his trying to be as close to her as he could without disturbing the IV and monitors attached to her arm.

"Alright." Whale opened the folder and got to work. "When you arrived yesterday evening, you were suffering from a seizure somehow related to pain in your lower back and pelvis. I ran a CT scan, as well as an ultrasound, but there was nothing that explained your pain. I also ran a CT scan of your brain," here, he looked up at Regina. "Sometimes stress or depression can cause pain in other parts of the body, but, again, everything checked out as normal." Robin looked utterly lost, so Mary Margaret spoke up.

"You're saying there's nothing wrong with her," she clarified, tone almost angry.

"Other than what Ms. Mills and I discussed upon her last visit," he nodded in Regina's direction, but she refused to react, "there is nothing medical that explains why you were in pain last night."

"Your last visit?" Robin grasped at the detail he understood, then watched as Regina straightened, pulled on her confidence like a shield.

"It was a few months ago. I wanted to check on something." Robin shook his head, dissatisfied.

"Check on something? What something?" Regina met his eyes, sure she would find anger or disappointment and ready to combat it, but she saw fear instead.

"You asked me to have a baby with you," she reminded him. "I wanted to check on an old issue I had, back in the Enchanted Forest."

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have come with you. I would have—"

"You would have worried, just like you are now. I hoped… Well, I had hoped that the problem had been solved."

"But it hadn't," Mary Margaret acknowledged from her side of the bed. Regina shook her head.

"As I was saying," Whale interrupted, uncomfortable with the amount of emotion that filled the small room, "there is no medical cause for your pain. At this point, I think it would be wise to try and determine if there is a magical cause, instead." Regina looked up sharply at his words, and Robin's eyes widened.

"The purple," he murmured, glancing down to where the magic had swirled around her hips and belly. "I saw purple. Last night. As soon as I touched you, it appeared." Regina looked confused.

"As soon as you touched me?" Robin didn't even bat an eye.

"Yes, you were in pain and I put my hand on your back. That was when the seizure started." The fear was back in his eyes once more; he seemed lost in the memory of those tortured minutes. Regina cupped his face in her hand and kissed him lightly.

"It's okay. I'm alright now," she said as if she were trying to soothe Roland after a nightmare.

"Except, you're not alright," Robin said darkly, turning back to the medical professional at the foot of the bed. "How do we figure out why magic is causing her harm?" Whale started to speak, but Regina held up her hand.

"I would like it if you could leave," she said, doing her best to pull Mayor Mills from deep within her exhaustion, and mostly failing. Whale protested, but she shook her head. "You told us that there is nothing medically wrong with me, therefore you are of no further help. Please go." Robin glared at the man, and he finally nodded.

"I will return this evening with discharge papers unless the pain flares up again." Then, he left, closing the door smartly behind him.

"Regina, what is happening?" Mary Margaret's voice was quiet, but it had an edge of determination to it that Regina recognized. She had taught it to her, years ago, during the eight years she had kept the girl on the run.

"I'd like to know that myself," Robin added, picking up Regina's hand once more and pressing a kiss to the back of it so as to soothe away the harshness of his words. He was angry, but not at her. At the world, perhaps, or with himself, but not at her.

"My uterus—my womb," she added for Robin's benefit, "is what the doctor's here call a 'toxic environment.' Both the lining of my uterus and my cervix are scarred badly. I have been trying to change that fact for a couple of months, with no success."

"By using magic." Regina nodded in answer to Mary Margaret's certainty.

"First, only with potions. Then, with spells." She turned to Robin, scooted closer to his side of the bed and clasped both of his hands in hers. "I swear, I wasn't trying to use dark magic. I just wanted to be healthy for you. I wanted to give you a baby."

"Regina, I almost lost you yesterday," Robin started. "I'd rather have you and our boys than a hundred more children." Regina shook her head.

"You didn't almost lose me. I just haven't found the right spell, the right enchantment. I can stand a little pain for you, Robin." Regina looked so earnest, Robin didn't know what to say.

"Regina, this world has technology far beyond that of the Enchanted Forest," Mary Margaret offered. "I'm sure that Whale, or someone else could—"

"No," Regina interrupted, exhaustion creeping into her voice. "I am damaged far beyond medicine in any world." She looked only at Robin while she spoke, unable to turn away lest she miss the moment his understanding turned to hatred. She needed to be prepared. She needed to be ready.

"Damaged? I still don't understand." The feeling of his lover's fingers between his own was the only thing keeping Robin grounded. The day had been full of terror and pain, and he was missing too many pieces of the puzzle to be as strong as he wanted to be for her.

"Please don't make me explain," Regina asked, her voice low but not pleading; she was not capable of begging anymore. It took a measure of pride to be brought to one's knees, even metaphorically. All of her pride had been used up many years ago, in another lifetime. She had plenty of bravado, even a measure of stubbornness, but no pride.

"Regina," Mary Margaret encouraged, wanting to hold her hand, or rest a palm on her back, but knowing instinctively that the touch would be unwanted. "You've carried this burden alone for far too long. What happened?"

Regina shook her head. "You don't want to know the truth, Snow," she answered, using the name she had used long ago when the woman at her bedside was a young girl and she was a different person. Or, perhaps, the same woman as now, but whole. Unbroken.

"No, but perhaps I should." The room was quiet for a beat. Robin used his free hand to push a curl of hair behind Regina's ear, his fingertips drifting over her cheek and prompting her to meet his gaze once more.

"I love you," he told her, no expectation in his voice. Regina swallowed thickly and felt tears press at the back of her eyes.

**A/N Your follows and reviews are lovely!**

**Michebellaxo and HeroineGauddess— THANK YOU! Your words are so uplifting! I hope you enjoy this installment...**

**Addicted1 and Heffermoose415—I really want Hook to have more charater development, so I try to write him that way in my stories. I don't love his character as it stands in canon, because he continues to be selfish and oblivious when I think he should be showing some examples of understanding hoe being a villain has altered his life and character. I am glad you enjoyed the first chapter! Thank you!**

**Dakota1979 and PinkCatInSpace—you'll start to hear about and see what is happening with Regina in the next chapter. I'm sad for her, too, but I think she'll find a way to get her happy ending! :D**

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	3. Memories

**Pay the Price in Scars**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time or its characters; Regina Mills belongs to Kitsis/Horowitz and Lana Parilla and Robin Hood belongs to Kitsis/Horowitz and Sean Maguire. The plot for this story is my own. Please leave feedback!**

**Synopsis: What makes a family? Where do you draw the line between selfish and selfless? Regina's past as the Queen has followed her into her present, and it is starting to affect her future. OutlawQueen with sprinkles of CaptainSwan, Snowing, Rumbelle, and RedCricket.**

"Your father's… _method_ of loving me," Regina began, eyes still on Robin's face but speaking to the young woman standing at her bedside, "was much different than his method of loving you." She lifted a finger to brush the stubble that had risen on Robin's face, then dropped her hand and gaze to the tops of her drawn-up knees. "At first, he was almost gentle. An eighteen year old girl with her virtue intact mustn't be expected to know how to please a king right away, after all. But a month passed, perhaps two. He grew ashamed when the chamber maids began to gossip. My sheets were still bloody in the morning. They were burning them faster than they could make them.

"So he brought in two male prostitutes from the city. They _instructed_ me in the art of pleasing the king." Regina grinned a little wry grin that made Robin's gut clench in fury. "I was a quick learner, they told him. I was being taught how to behave properly for my husband. Leopold, he didn't like it if I used my hands to touch him. They were too cold, he said. Much colder than Eva's. But now I could use my mouth. And I knew how not to bleed. Knew how to prepare myself so that he had an easier time with my body."

Regina looked up at Robin once more, her eyes clearer than a moment before, and she seemed desperate for him to be normal—stable—so he shoved aside the anger coursing through him and tried to show her all of his love just in one look. "I've never… I mean, I always wanted you," she said, near whisper, gripping one of his hands. "I didn't have to—"

"I know," he answered, voice just as low, kissing the knuckles on her hand that were white with tension. "I love you." Once again, the words gave her courage.

"I fell pregnant quickly once the bleeding stopped. Too quickly. The King worried that the prostitutes were responsible. So, he had a midwife brought to my chambers. For three days, no one was allowed in. She fed me a vile potion, then stripped me from the inside with vinegar. Incense. Mint. Ice water. I spent most of those three days barely conscious. I remember pain. I remember someone was screaming. I think it might have been me. But no one came except for her, again and again. After her job was complete, they found her dead just beyond the walls of the castle."

"I remember that." Mary Margaret's voice was a surprise to Regina, lost so deeply in her story, and she jumped a little. "It was just after my eleventh birthday. Father told me you were ill." Regina nodded, looking a little sad.

"I missed your party. I had bought you a horse." Mary Margaret smiled in recognition of the beautiful palomino mare she had ridden far into her teenage years. "I didn't know yet, about the—"

"About the secret," the former princess finished, all traces of a smile wiped from her face. Regina nodded. A squeeze of her hand from Robin prompted her to continue her explanations.

"After that, the King hired only female prostitutes to continue my lessons. Whatever the midwife had done to me proved to please Leopold. My muscles had tightened, I think. The pain was greater, but I learned to prepare, to heal myself with salves, and to cry without making a sound. I learned to distract him with pleasure. Some nights, I was successful in pleasuring him without having to let him inside me. This time, it took much longer for me to fall pregnant.

"I told Leopold I was with child the day of my twenty first birthday. Of course, no one other than me knew it was my birthday, but giving him a reason not to lay with me that night was a gift to myself. He was delighted, and called for every midwife he could find to try and determine whether I would have a boy. Their procedures were all different, but they all assured the King I would have a prince for the kingdom." Regina choked on her words a little, one tear escaping from her eye though she tried mightily to keep them back. "When the child slipped away from my body months later, I saw her for a moment, maybe two. She was beautiful. And cold. So cold. The blood was hot, but her body was cold."

Robin knew there were tears falling down his cheeks, could feel them making tracks through his beard and falling onto the bed below him, but he made no move to wipe them away. In the woman he had come to love, curled on the stark white hospital bed with her arms holding her knees close to her chest like a wall of defense, he could see the heartbroken, terrified young woman she had been so long ago. He had seen her be mother to his son and her own, he knew her capacity to love was far beyond that of anyone he had ever known, he had loved every version of her he had ever met, and he felt her devastation at the very core of his soul.

"After that, I asked Rumple for potions that would keep me from ever feeling that pain again. Whenever I suspected I might be with child, the potion and a single night of torture solved the problem." Regina finally turned her gaze on Mary Margaret who looked close to tears. "You know the rest of my history with your father," she said quietly. "And I'm sorry for it. I wouldn't give up my life now, with Henry, for anything in this world, but I _am_ sorry that our paths took us where they did." Mary Margaret sat slowly on the bed and took Regina's face in her hands.

"I'm sorry that I never met my sisters," she choked out finally. "I would have loved them." Regina closed her eyes in defeat.

"Me, too." Together, they cried for the lives they might have lived if Leopold's children had all grown up as strong and whole as Snow White.

. . .

Belle made her way into Regina's hospital room surreptitiously, avoiding the nurses who were likely to enforce hospital policy and refuse her entry. After a quick conversation with Whale, she thought her suspicions had been confirmed—evidence of magic, pain in the midsection, Regina's research on healing, and a faded memory of Rumple's potion-making notes from the Enchanted forest...if Regina hadn't come to the same conclusion as her, she would try to offer her expertise.

When she slipped into the room, Regina and Mary Margaret were wiping their eyes, cheeks red and wadded up tissues in hand. Robin looked distraught—a mix of infuriated and terrified that made him seem wild. He whirled around as the door clicked behind her and she raised her hands in a gesture of peace and apology.

"Regina, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting." The former queen shook her head, but straightened her posture without thinking, pulling at her hospital gown as if she could somehow protect herself more completely.

"It's fine. Is Henry with you?" Belle glanced at Robin and shook her head.

"Roland and Henry are with Emma right now. They can come and see you whenever you want." Regina shook her head once again and pulled awkwardly at the light blanket draped over her legs.

"Do you have more information about what's happening?," Mary Margaret asked quietly, knowing that it had been Belle's goal to get the details from Whale. Belle walked closer to the end of the bed and placed her hands on the plastic railing that made up the footrest.

"Regina, has Whale been able to determine the cause of your pain?" Far from looking surprised that Belle already knew what had happened, she merely shook her head.

"He thinks magic is involved," Robin spoke up from his place at Regina's shoulder, his voice gruff and angry. Belle didn't miss the way Regina's eyes closed and she winced at his tone. "Do you know more?" Focusing only on the woman who had once been her captor and torturer, Belle spoke quietly.

"When you have been performing spells, specifically healing spells, is your magic light or dark?" Regina's gaze twisted in self-loathing.

"Dark. Purple, always." She swallowed her pride. "When I'm not thinking, sometimes I can use light magic. But the magic I control is always dark."

"And you and Robin—you are soulmates? You have true love?" Regina glanced at Robin and seemed to wince again at the man's obvious anger, but the thief merely took her hand in his own and nodded to the librarian.

"Yes," he answered for them, his other hand reaching without thinking to slide into Regina's hair at the base of her skull. He seemed to realize that the fury he was feeling towards Leopold, and the past, and Whale for not having a solution to Regina's pain, was coming across as anger towards her, and he leaned in to press his lips against her temple. Regina's eyes closed and her lips trembled, but she did not cry.

"Regina," Belle began, "I have done much research on the magical arts, and on the concept of true love. When one loves the most powerful dark sorcerer in the realms, it is necessary to understand how magic works." Regina nodded in understanding. "In everything that I have ever read, dark magic and light magic are eternally at odds, forever enemies of each other. Where light magic flourishes, dark magic is weakened. Where dark magic reigns supreme, even the strongest light magic never succeeds.

"But Regina has both," Mary Margaret interjected, not liking the tone of Belle's words at all.

"Yes, and I imagine they are constantly at war." Regina refused to acknowledge that statement, but her eyes told Belle that her words rang true. "Even more so, dark and light magic are interwoven with other forms of magic in predictable ways. The magic of True Love and the magic of a Mother's protection are strengthened by light magic, while warring Blood Lust and witchcraft are strengthened by dark. According to my research, this has been true in every realm that has ever had magic."

"I am hurting Regina by loving her?" Robin's voice was tortured, and Belle turned her gaze on him.

"No," she answered him firmly. "True Love can overcome darkness. And, as Mary Margaret has said, Regina is no longer entirely dark. She may never have been."

"So what does this have to do with her pain?" Regina squeezed his hand and pulled him closer to her side to soothe him. Belle sighed.

"If my hypothesis is correct, when you," she turned back to Regina, "performed dark magic on your womb to reverse the damages done by dark magic and the midwife's witchcraft, and then your True Love tried to create life from light magic, the two forces found themselves at odds."

"At odds?" Robin's voice was filled with incredulity and frustration. He stepped away from the bedside and pulled one hand through his hair. "That man called it a partial seizure. I do not understand what that means, but I know what I saw, and it was more than 'at odds.' How do I fix this?"

Belle was unfazed by his outburst, and responded calmly, "I would hypothesize that this will continue to happen unless you remove one of the two magics from the situation."

"You will have to learn to use your light magic, then," Mary Margaret declared, which made Regina roll her eyes.

"It's not that simple," she responded, crossing her arms below her breasts. "If I could have been using light magic, I would have."

"You said yourself you use it when you're not thinking," the princess protested, one hand laid on Regina's forearm, but the older woman was shaking her head.

"Exactly my point. I have _tried_ to use it on purpose, and the magic is always—"

"Then, we eliminate the rest of the problem." Robin's voice was quiet, with a hard edge. "You said that True Love is the issue. If that is true, then we will make sure this doesn't happen again."

"Robin," Regina began, heart sinking deep into her chest, but he shook his head and evaded the hand she tried to place on his arm.

"Until we have a better solution, we will make sure that our True Love does not have an opportunity to 'create life.'"

"Please understand that I am drawing my conclusions only from my research, and that it may not be the truth." The tension building in the small hospital room made Belle nervous, and she could almost see whatever bridge had been built between her and Regina in the last month crumbling before her. "I'm sorry I said anything."

"I'm not sorry," Robin responded, rubbing his hands together, then crossing them across his chest. "You're the first person all day who's provided me with any information I can actually understand." There was a beat of silence before Mary Margaret stood from her chair.

"I think Belle and I should go so you guys can talk," she said, a little too brightly. "How do you want to handle the boys tonight?" Regina swallowed and tried to blink back the tears that were threatening as Robin's absence at her side grew more stark.

"Have they eaten?" Mary Margaret nodded.

"They're eating with Emma now, likely at her apartment." Regina looked at Robin.

"Whale said he would come back to release me," she said quietly. "You can get the boys and I can meet you at home?" He nodded, then stepped towards her as if he might embrace her, or kiss her, but he settled for grasping her hand and brushing a kiss across her knuckles. Nodding to the other occupants of the room, he left briskly.

"Do you want me to stay and drive you?" Mary Margaret asked, glancing between Belle's worried face and Regina.

"No," she responded, spine straightening and face smoothing into a blank look that was far too reminiscent of a Queen's for anyone's comfort. "Thank you."

"How will you—" Before Belle could finish the question, cold brown eyes were trained on her face.

"I'll manage," came the instant reply. Beside her, the princess who had once been her stepdaughter sighed, but, dragging a single palm down her upper arm, stepped towards the door. As she and Belle made their way into the hallway, Mary Margaret turned and examined Regina for a moment longer. The lines of her face were rigid and seemed to warn her away from making any kind of insipid comment, but her fingers clutched, white-knuckled, at the sheets tucked around her legs.

. . .

Although Regina could feel her magic slipping around beneath the tight veneer of control, bubbling up with the anxiety in her stomach, she managed to provide herself with some clothing and a quick transport home. Sagging briefly against the doorway before pushing inside, she listened to the voices within. Henry's voice, caught somewhere between the pitches of his youth and the squeaking jumps down into his growing teenage tone, interjected occasionally between peels of Roland. Robin's voice answered once, then twice, and both responses were short. Regina pulled the grey knit cardigan she had magicked tighter around her torso and pushed open her front door. All the voices stopped.

"Mama!" Roland pelted down the hallway in socked feet, narrowly avoiding a faceplant when his torso sped ahead of his feet, and plowed into her midsection. She managed to close the door behind her, shutting out the brisk air, and crouched down to hold the child close to her. "We had pizza with Emma but first we had salad just like you said and can we please still have pizza on Friday even though we had pizza today and today was Tuesday because we still had salad?" Regina used her thumb to wipe a bit of dripped sauce from his chin, but the speck was dry and stubborn.

"I'm proud of you for having salad first. I think we might be able to overlook pizza two times in one week." Regina smiled at him and tried to ignore the absence of Robin in the hallway. "We'll check with Papa to make double sure." Standing, Regina saw Henry waiting a few steps further into the home. His gaze was leveled at her, scanning for the cause of his abrupt dinner with Emma and the lack of information she had been willing to provide as to exactly _why_ Regina was in the hospital. Regina started to extend an arm towards him, then thought better of it. He would be angry, she assumed, if magic was revealed to be the cause of her absence.

Roland remained oblivious to Regina's uncertainty, pelting back down the hall to shout after his father about their weekend meal. The once stalwart mother folded her hands together over her midsection and took a step towards her son. "Hello, Henry." She tucked a bit of hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry I missed dinner. How was soccer today?" Henry's forehead creased in frustration, but he shrugged and let his body angle towards hers.

"Soccer was perfectly acceptable." Henry had long ago learned to sound uncannily like his mother. "Are you gonna tell me what's wrong with you, or are we going to stand here and exchange stories about our day?" Straightening, so that her gaze was level with her son's, Regina locked away every bit of the chaos swirling through her mind. In her periphery, she felt more than saw as Robin joined them, Roland slung over one shoulder.

"I'm fine, Henry. There was a minor issue that required Dr. Whale's assistance, but it's been taken care of." Roland slid to the ground onto his hands and knees, then forward-tumbled into Regina's feet. Giggling, he clambered up her legs like the monkeys he was obsessed with.

"Mama, Papa said pizza on Friday is an excellent plan, as always. Can we watch Lilo and Stitch?" Still looking at Henry, who did not seem convinced by her explanation, Regina hooked an arm around one of Roland's tiny thighs and the other around his torso, swinging him until he was parallel to the ground and shrieking with laughter.

"Stitch?!," Regina cried, pretending to toss the almost-six-year-old into the umbrella stand, but keeping hold of him at the last second. "You want to watch Stitch again?" Pulling Roland back into her arms, she held him tightly against her in a hug he readily returned. "Go put the disc in the DVD player. We'll be there in a minute." As soon as his feet touched the ground, he was tumbling off, leaving the hallway silent once more.

"Taken care of, how?" Henry asked. Regina sighed and stepped closer to him again.

"Henry, you don't need to worry about me. I'm—"

"I always worry about you. I hate it when you won't tell me the truth." Regina flinched, but refused to back down.

"I'm not lying to you." Henry seemed to deflate a little, and then he stepped into her embrace, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Are you alright?" Regina held him tightly, pressing a kiss to his unruly hair.

"Yes." He broke away and faced Robin.

"Is she really?" For a second, Regina's breath caught in her throat. Robin ran a hand over the back of his neck, then over his mouth before nodding.

"She will be. I'll make sure of it." Henry seemed satisfied by the curt response and nodded formally at the man who had moved into his home and his life. Regina remained at an impasse, wanting the comfort of her family after so many hours of worry and too many memories, but afraid that they would turn cold once again. She shivered and wrapped her arms around her torso.

In the living room, the volume of the television rose suddenly and they heard Roland's "uh oh…" before the clattering of the remote control. Henry rolled his eyes good naturedly and turned to rescue the buttons from six-year-old impatience, leaving them alone in the hallway. Robin stepped towards her, but then seemed to think better of it and stopped. Regina's heart sank.

"Regina," he murmured softly, but she held out a palm.

"Just—" she interrupted, "Just not tonight. I don't have the strength to lose you tonight." Robin looked alarmed, but she didn't notice through the tears that suddenly clouded her vision.

"Lose me?" Robin stepped all the way towards her now, reaching out tentative palms to cup her elbows and keep her with him.

"Of course," she breathed around the lump in her throat, blinking in a last ditch effort to keep the traitorous tears at bay. "I broke your trust, I wielded dark magic, I slept with prostitutes, I had an abortion, and I can't have a child. At this point, you could take your pick." Robin was already shaking his head, and then his arms were around her, hands finally finding their place against her back as he pulled her close to him. In spite of herself, in spite of the walls she was trying to yank up around her battered heart, in spite of the memories that were spinning through her mind and dredging up long-buried feelings of disgust and self-hatred, she leaned against the hard plane of his body, soaking up his body heat. Through her own tears, she realized that he was shaking.

"I'm sorry," he was saying into her hair, "I'm sorry, I don't know what… you won't… I can't… you won't lose… I'm sorry." And then, like a blanket wrapping around her soul, "I love you." Regina heaved in a shuddering breath and unfolded her arms until she could wrap them around his torso.

They held each other for a long time, tears and whispered platitudes and slowing heartbeats exchanged until both were still but unwilling to let go. Robin explained in halting words how his fury at the King had threatened to overwhelm him, threatened to make him a violent man, threatened to turn his hatred on Snow, on Emma, on the world. Regina apologized for the magic, for her scars, for her weakness. They forgave each other needlessly.

"I'm sorry," Regina said at last, pulling back enough to look him in the eyes. Robin cupped her face in his hands.

"I have never been more afraid in my life than I was last night, Regina. I have already watched one woman I loved die in my arms. I refuse to let you do the same." Regina let her head fall towards his until their foreheads touched.

"I want to give you a child." Robin shook his head lightly, then pulled her back against him fully, arms wrapped around her shoulders.

"You have given me a family, Regina. I want for nothing more."

**A/N Your follows and reviews are lovely! This is not the end!**

**Michebellaxo and Addicted1 and Thornspike and PinkCatInSpace— THANK YOU for continuing to follow my story! I know that this idea has been done before, but I hope that I can do it justice as we follow these characters through the journey. I'm always torn when it comes to MM and Regina's relationship, but Lana and Ginny have said in interviews that they both agree they had plenty of chances to kill one another, and there must be some love between them to fall back on. I just hope MM can keep her mouth shut this time, especially since she's already blabbed to Belle...**

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